


sanji can't find his juul

by ordinaryonigiri



Category: One Piece
Genre: Angst, Gen, Grief, Implied Zosan, Pre-Time Skip, Suicide, Swearing, do you really need any of these tags, its a fucking joke fic look at the title
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-25 02:20:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22424611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ordinaryonigiri/pseuds/ordinaryonigiri
Summary: originally posted on my vent account as a shitpost but I felt the masses needed to see it
Comments: 9
Kudos: 15





	sanji can't find his juul

The sound of frantic footsteps echoed on the wooden hull of the ship, shaking it erratically on the ocean's surface. Curiously, the crew members turned their heads to the source of the noise: the kitchen. Obviously, Sanji was probably inside looking for something. What exactly it was remained a mystery; lunch had just been prepared, and dinner wouldn't be for a few hours. So why would he be in there, frantically searching around? As if on cue to answer the questions running through everyone else's head, the cook bust through the door, a look of panic plastered on his face.

WHERE THE FUCK IS MY JUUL?" He hollered frantically at the other crew members. Everyone shrugged their shoulders in response.  
"What's a Juul?" Asked Luffy, perplexed by the whole situation.  
"Its that shit hes always smoking out of," Zoro responded. "Dude always keeps huffing and puffing and making everything smell like peppermints and throat cancer"  
"Wow Sanji, you use mint pods?!?!?" Usopp laughed. "That's pretty lame bro ngl"  
"I WAS ONLY USING MINT PODS BECAUSE I COULDNT FIND ANY MANGO ONES!" the cook hollered defensively. "NOW WHERE IS IT?!?!?!?" Before anyone could answer, he ran off, his long slender man legs going slap slap slap against the wooden flooring.

He continued to dash around the ship, looking everywhere in sight (I wont write where he was looking because I dont know ship parts that well, I'm not an architect for gods sake). Nothing. The fucker even tossed his shoes and jacket off and dove underwater, swimming around the ship trying to find it on the oceans floor. Still nothing. All anyone else could do was stare in awe at the whole thing.  
"Look at this fucking idiot" Zoro quipped while watching him dive down again. "He do got some nice feet tho 😳"

After searching for half an hour, Sanji surfaced again, and a rope was lowered from the ship to help him climb up. Once he was back on board, he plopped down on the floor, defeated and exhausted. Haunted by visions of his Juul dancing in his head, mocking him.

"Fucks sake," he whined, "I need my nic bro"  
Not having anything better to do, everyone else walked off away from him. He'd find his Juul eventually, he was just being a little bitch about it. Or so everyone thought.  
"Oi, Sanji, I've been meaning to ask," Luffy turned around to question the cook. "When you made lunch, what was that weird garnish?"  
"H-huh" Sanji replied, wearily.  
"Yknow, that weird thing you put on my plate! Tasted like plastic, yuck!"  
Sanji snapped, as he finally put two and two together. He must have accidentally dropped his Juul on Luffy's plate when he was serving everyone lunch. And then the fucker ate it.

He couldnt take the pressure anymore. Tears started to form in his eyes. His beloved Juul, ripped away from him forever by that damn rubber man. He would never see it again. At that point, why even bother? Why live?  
Why live indeed.  
With tears in his eyes, Sanji stood up, walking towards the edge of the ship. Everyone else turned to him in curiosity, wondering what he was gonna do next.  
"I cant take this shit anymore," he spoke. "Goodbye forever. I'll miss you all but not as much as my Juul"  
"SANJI, STOP!" everyone replied, running to rescue him from himself, but it was too late. He had already dove in.  
"No... dont kill yourself... you're so sexy aha" Zoro sobbed, jumping over the edge to search for him. But he was nowhere to be found. Somehow he had already sunk to the bottom of the ocean because I wanna wrap this story up already.

the end


End file.
